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Observe and breathe

2012-02-16T01:58:00.000+08:00

I often find myself hidden amongst the crowd, looking. I like to look at people tripping over themselves, look at flustered working men getting off work, look at women multi-tasking with their Blackberry and a cup of frappe in the other hand, look at kids running around in little steps, just look.

I hate walls. They bind us in a confined space, whereby I see no boundaries built by these bricks and cement nonetheless. It's just the loneliness, I suppose. I hate being the only child sometimes. I wished I had my girlfriend with me permanently.

2012

2012-02-13T16:16:00.000+08:00

Life's good & I'm starting to believe that all good things happen to good people.

I can't wait for March to come because it's going to be a busy and exciting month!

I can't wait for June because to come because it's gonna be my first anniversary with J!

I can't wait for October to come because it's my 18th birthday!

I can't wait to get my driving license & bug my mom to get me a car.

Yay so sexciting

"Everything happens for a reason"

2012-02-09T16:19:00.000+08:00

It's not the best day of my life thus far.

My icy cold feet brushed past the crummy brown paper stuck onto my wall. Cold friction. My back is breaking out in sweat but I refuse the acknowledge its existence and continues to lie flat on my back. Lately, I can't keep my focus. Frayed ends of a friendship, I just let them be. Bumpy rides of my relationship, I sit on still water hoping not to get myself drowned. I am honestly sick. I can't be bothered with anybody's misconstrued thoughts or doubts.

Perhaps now, I just need some genuine concern and support.

& I guess Chris Medina was right; what are words when you say them but you don't mean them?

Weight

2012-02-08T22:34:00.002+08:00

好悶

2012-01-24T13:12:00.001+08:00

ARTSTAGE

2012-01-19T02:41:00.001+08:00

How my favorite girl & I spent our 7th.

香港

2011-12-27T20:04:00.001+08:00

A lovely week that passed by almost too quickly

Recently

2011-12-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

Set ablaze my mind of a solicit - to question.

We are all humans, unfortunately. To be bounded to circumstances in the runway of life, we pursue higher grounds before we finally take off. The 1440 minutes challenge a day between a needle on the face is the finest example. Society has crippled our youths, society has driven us up the wall of desperation.

Vicious cycle, I must say.

Set ablaze an ardent heart of mine - to love.

It still burns, sometimes. In time, all of that jinxed feeling will be annihilated. Meanwhile, these residual mixed feelings of being faintly jealous, mildly distressed and slightly dubious will be chucked into a very distant place. In the power of my futuristic beliefs, I will open up completely and set myself free from these. Away from it all, to love without being afraid to lose and to love with pure appreciation and gratitude for my partner.

Recently.

Summary: Exams are officially over, rolling in bed for the past nights with warm cuddles, almost dead from the virus attack last week, having my rashes carefully taken of by my girl, an erupting skin that made me look like an alien, departure gate of Terminal 1 and I can't wait to meet my babygirl in HK on the 12th December!

List of tasks to be accomplished in Singapore: Thread my eyebrowz, complete my entire antibiotic course, get some good sleep, order my geo lens and collect them by Wednesday, repaint my nails, pack my luggage, get order list from my mom, set offfffffffff on Sunday

List of tasks to be accomplishes in Hong Kong / Macau: Visit granny, Rilakkuma store, H&M, loads of shopping to be done, travel to zhuhai for even more crazier shopping, must eat curry fishballs and smelly tofu, lan kwai fong (i'm actually wondering how people dress to club in winter, are you not afraid of being frozen?), casino and GST refunds!!!!!!!!!

喜愛夜浦

2011-12-04T20:11:00.005+08:00

Hong Kong, wait for me

Instagram

2011-11-26T16:30:00.001+08:00

@mothballlll

Tonsils

2011-11-26T16:25:00.001+08:00

Soon, I'll depart this little country and hopefully get the best of the week over in Canto land. Been quite ill lately and I want to recover soon because I feel horrible being in this state where it just goes: sleep eat tv eat sleep sleep sleep eat sleep! I want to get over this ASAP and I miss being out :(

X

2011-11-23T13:33:00.003+08:00

I haven't been blogging for the longest time.

Partly due to the hectic time slots I have for school and my family and my girlfriend. Yesterday we got our CA results - I was really glad that for once it wasn't borderline passes and let alone the fact that there were not sight of a "C" or "D"! Made the day of my dad and mom (deep inside, it was such a pleasant sight to see my dad so happy for me) It meant a great deal to me.

Also, I've been rather sick lately. With the scares of dengue and a swollen lymph nodes, I've finally went to consult my favorite practitioner, Dr Lee. So it seems like the real deal is that I have tonsillitis. High hopes that it'll go away before I head to HK on 12th December!

I can't wait to go jet off to another country after my exams to enjoy myself. Rather disappointed that my dad & mom isn't going with me. It's alright, the presence of my girlfriend will suffice too.

Just imagine the insane shopping, amazing street food, awesome local delicacies and my relatives. Not to mention, we're celebrating our "half-a-year" in Hong Kong. Excited!

Till then

A week

2011-10-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

Been, slightly drowning. I've been running around the city lately. How'd three months pass by so fast? Everything seem to had sped up, in a speed as fast as extinguishing a cigarette. For the month of October to December, a pretty hectic season. Packed with birthdays, monthsary, four jam-packed modules, four major papers at the end of Dec. This is all enough to kill a rabbit. On the side note, me and J is planning to get an... "engagement" ring to seal our deal (hehe) well it's actually more of a "you-are-reserved-by-me" kind of ring. It's really sweet but then now we are just deciding on which to get. Choices choices choices and money money money.

So here are the few options that we've both agreed on:

Bvlgari : $1.9k (white gold) / $670 (ceramic)

Tiffany & Co : Price unavailable ($1.4k for both I think)

Advices / recommendations?

2011-10-07T20:05:00.000+08:00

Steve Jobs

1955 - 2011

婚前試愛

2011-09-28T16:46:00.003+08:00

Vegan

2011-09-22T04:30:00.000+08:00

For the past 3 months, I've spent it frivolously and 'twas pretty much a laid back break for me. It wasn't supposed to be such a holiday for me but hey - whatever, I think I had enough fun and it's time get down to business. Well literally, pun intended by the way. My schedule's going to be packed with school and work! I need to get a planner but I guess it's a little too late into the year to get one so I shall start hunting for Listography 2012. In summary, the recent week has been good. Currently being a semi-vegan with my girl, did I mention how fascinated I am with the wonders of vegetarian food? I think I might consider being permanently vegan when all the cows in New Zealand perish. The candle is burning out for me and I shall crash into my pool of soft cotton now. I miss my girlfriend.

Okay bye bye.

Wait, here's something before I go.

Location: SOUL @ Odeon Tower

D/T: 24th September / 12NN

Come ok!

Ruby

2011-09-07T01:45:00.001+08:00

You said in your previous email that you were over her - over the past, over the heartbreak. You said you'd move on and find your direction. I realized today, your words don't match up to your actions. So, what exactly are you trying to do? Lay your cards right out in front of me before I lay mine. Or better yet, lay off my back. It's making me quite sick to keep up with your insipid childish mind games because I have absolutely no patience to deal with such platitudinous issues. Not exactly glad that you've been making an appearance in my life and relationship, at all - though I understand that it is inevitable for you to further your studies here but, please just stay away from us.

I don't need the drama.

I'm saying this once and just this once: "Know your place"

P.S. Take care when you're in Singapore

Words of truth

2011-09-05T13:33:00.000+08:00

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

— Bob Marley

✄

2011-08-26T02:37:00.000+08:00

Updated journal

15th June 2011

2011-08-26T02:33:00.000+08:00

I constantly am thankful for you and for us. Ever since you've been in my life, it has been such a blessing. You brought the best and the worst out of me. Despite seeing me butt naked a million times, hearing me snore umpteen times, having to put up with my grouchiness, putting up with me when I get a sugar rush and I start telling you nonsense, pacifying me (this overgrown child) you've never hesitated to tell me you love me. But of course, I know how it feels like to really love someone so much. Especially times when you.. take up 3/4 of my bed and eventually using your bum to knock me off my bed, you rather watch the 0900PM show than to cook dinner with me in the kitchen which is a stonethrow away from the tv, you fart/burp some goofy gas and it stinks up like bad eggs, you walk around butt naked after showering (hahaha super cute), you telling me you calling me just to tell me you have lots of swagger, you mispronounced a word and suddenly it becomes the joke of the day. Baby, you're so perfect in every way. Someone that I can be so natural in front of. I can never bring myself to have a tad bit of hatred in me for you. I just, love you. Just be you. That'll suffice.

2011-08-26T02:09:00.000+08:00

An unsealed envelope

Days have been passing like the wind, a month and a half since I've touched my books - the slightest wit that goes dimmer withers. I am no dimwit. My brain is like the mechanisms of a watch. You don't see it. But it is always working around the twelve hours, twice per day. I have plans. I have many plans. I have too many plans. Inside this skull of mine, the capacity to hold is only so much. Does anyone know how important these planning is? Long term, short term, mid-term. Plans. Life is too uncertain. We need a rough plan to guide us through or we will forever be lost in this earthly paradise.

I have written plans, do you?

R

2011-07-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

Don't bother waiting on her because I'd never let her leave my side.

It's war if you still don't get the message I'm trying to send.

Phobia

2011-07-30T03:56:00.000+08:00

A feeling you try so hard to fight but it just consumes you at times when you're sitting on the bed with nothing but yourself - so much so that you're at a loss when you imagine yourself without that someone you love with all your heart.

Loneliness doesn't kill, pain doesn't kill, falling doesn't kill.

It's the emptiness within yourself, that indescribable ache, that memorabilia of what used to be "us" and now it's only "you" and "her". That part where you know the only thing left that you can do is miss her and watch her from a distance. There's nothing worst than knowing that you've a hole in your soul because then the mind cannot fix the shattered pieces of your heart. It's not about giving time to heal or repair that broken and despaired organ as it's irrecoverable, it'll be so unforgettable. You let yourself love freely, to fall into the burning pits of love without a parachute, you dive right down into this inexorable space at godspeed that nothing can cushion your impact. You made that choice. A choice, which you were aware of all the consequences but you went ahead because deep down, you know that this sweetheart was all worth it.

Blame no one.

You, let yourself take this risk of testing the fragility of the heart. It's glass. It's impossible to piece them back once it's smashed. Matters of the heart should never be messed around with because even when you heal superficially - the wound would forever be there and the undeniable hurt would linger on until the end of time.

Yes this would be how I'd feel if I lost Jelyn.

MGNFCNT LVR

2011-07-06T02:18:00.001+08:00

Yes. You're a magnificent lover. You, made me feel so much that I've never felt before. You found your way into my heart, even way before we confessed to each other. Tonight I'm just thinking back on some of the things that you've done for me, since the time when we fell for each other - to let you know that I appreciate it and I don't take you for granted because I never did (nor would I ever).

Your unwavering efforts to keep that smile on my face. You are the first to get me 6 slices of cake and arrange them in a patterned manner just to cheer me up. You are the first who made the effort to get mini tubs of Ben&Jerry's and knock on my window at 0130AM just to pass them to me. I also remember that time when you helped me dye my hair for me at 4 in the morning. You never fail to hold me close when we snore through the night. You're the first to get me the entire watermelon to wipe my grouchy face off even though I was just joking with you about it. You make me feel that with the power of love, I would do anything for you. You make loving so effortless, so natural, so beautiful. You are first to ever have such close relations with my family and even have dinner with them. You are the first that made me believe that "forever" might be possible afterall. You're the first to make me feel this stability in a relationship, whereby I could draw out plans of us owning our own place with our cars and the dogs. And I know we can easily reach our plans because it's all in just a mere 5 years time - I'd be 21 and you'd be 25.

It's near and not that out of sight.

Flubbie

2011-07-04T17:27:00.000+08:00

My favourite baby. How adorable! Just thought I should share with my public journal and readers (if there are still any left), I've been busy with life. Well, not that busy but since it was the holidays - I enjoyed my share of fun. In short, the past month was well-spent. I found a new lease of life, been staying away from the old ways, got into a relationship which more or less changed my life. But on the down side, I am taking a break from school. Which also means, new classmates new environment new circle of friends. But I will miss the 34th intake's Class D most! (Sigh) Will miss them oh-so-much :'(

Be back soon hehe

U

2011-06-18T04:28:00.001+08:00

Just think harder and you'll get your answers.

五花天

2011-06-14T02:07:00.004+08:00

Summary of today: Went to Pasir Ris Farmway, dog farm, two too-tiny-looking toy poodle puppies, enormous chou chou called "boy boy", minty grape popsicle, a superrrrrrr long walk to find a "swimming pool" for dogs that we never managed to locate, stranded in a fucking ulu corner of Singapore, hitched a ride in the back of a van of a very kind man, mini feast in the huge Ikea, hide and seek in showrooms, freeze and melt, cheap thrills, plush carrot in green shorts, mustard hotdogs/soft ice cream spam, adventures in the back exit of the cinemas, sat in for a free Hangover 2, an almost closing pasar malam.

Thank you for the super wuhua and awesome day Jelyn, Tara, Premy, Michelle and Corrinne!

2011-06-08T05:44:00.002+08:00

I think my world would've been different if I was born a boy. I think I would've written a different set of history if I hadn't been a lesbian. I think it would've been different if I hadn't met some people in my life. I think my mom would've been a different woman if she hadn't met my dad. I think.

Here's serenity for you: I am under sheets of white. My toes exposed to the mixture of aircon and sunlight that had peeped in through the curtains. My partner, had been asleep since 0245AM. Her lashes, finely separated on the lids. Her nose, a cute little structure. Her red lips, soft with a chubby pout. I could stare at her, for a lifetime. It's 0855AM - she haven't gotten her ample rest of 8 hours. I slid myself out of bed to the kitchen. I'll prepare pancakes with a dash of maple syrup.....................To be continued haha I am falling asleep I am too peaceful at 0628AM (Real time)

2011-05-23T01:16:00.002+08:00

I'm really into you.

It's so real that I find it unbelievable

I can't deny this feeling

Never had, never would.

I'm going to take a free fall into love - to be with You.

Wildflower

2011-05-15T22:16:00.004+08:00

Enough of trying to explain, enough of trying to keep up, enough of the world. Tired of admitting faults, shifting the blame and apologizing. Sick of walking away with my face in my hands, sick of waiting in vain, sick of dealing with people who knocks on the wrong door. After the sudden halt in search of love since 2009 and the recent identity crisis, I thought I'd never have the courage to brace myself for such games anymore. God answered, though awhile later but I'm glad he did. I've found you - this awesome half. You're beautiful in your alluring and charismatic way. I'd like to write about you, about me, about us. Portrayed to the world in a fine universal language, not only in sugar-coated words but a string of words put together to express my deepest feelings for you.

2011-05-03T00:32:00.004+08:00

It's exactly 12:39AM. The heel of my left cracked foot is peeling. I need lotion, I need moisturizer. There's school tomorrow - or rather, later. I haven't done enough work and I really should stop being such a procrastinator. Ok whatever I have no idea what I'm saying now and let me show you this bag that recently caught my fancy..

But this baby here would cost me $600

Yes/no?

Post-mortem

2011-04-18T01:46:00.004+08:00

Lines are sunken deep into the fore of your head, the wrinkles creeping from the corner of your eyes as you squint, thinning layers of hair on your scalp, your voice is coarse and shaky but still loud. About an arms length away from me, there, you're sitting. Our lives are designed with fate, put together with sheer disparity of age and vast difference of perspectives. Your history is written with tough experiences, imparted to me are stories and principles of life. Maybe it was reincarnation or debts from the past lives we've had but these are just superstition. How much you wholly mean to me, it is incomparable to such beliefs. Not an monetary value can buy us this relationship and as such I treasure you, very much.

2011-04-01T00:03:00.003+08:00

I typed "How can I care" in the Google search engine about, 7 minutes ago. I find myself despondent when I'm cooped up in this dark corner. It's a coalesce of fear and acerbity. I'm a person who can't express "care". For sure, I've quit being nonchalant but I feel that it's not good enough. Just cannot comprehend why I can only express minimal care to people. Of course, I can hell as well preach to friends about how they should care. Ha fucking ha, talk is fucking cheap as shit. So yeh, is caring an option or does it come from "within"?

That brings me to my second point.

I am a fucking sphinx. I am an enigmatic joke. Nobody understands, I don't even understand myself sometimes. I know I have issues dealing with letting people understand my thoughts. It's not that I am scared of being judged but it's more of, I don't know where to even start. Lately, I don't even think I can smile properly without feeling this ache in my heart. It seems as if my life is only good - from a far. However, everyone's missing out on the big picture. I have to worry about pleasing every fucking one but myself, worry about my family, worry about not making enough time for everyone, worry about my friends who'd drift away, worry about not being smart enough to get through life. I'm not good for anything, anyone, anywhere. If I could regurgitate every thought in my mind it'll probably intoxicate everyone.

I am sick of it. So fucking sick of it.

2011-03-23T01:25:00.005+08:00

I guess life has been alright. Nothing fantastic, nothing new. The only thing worth celebrating is probably the fact that SIM have accepted me into their DMS (Diploma in Management Studies) course. And I absolutely can't wait for school to start. Pretty stoked - I've even popped by Muji to gather all my school necessities.

So yes, that's that.

Do support the launch of S K I N T H R E A D S !!!!!!

Age Misery

2011-03-11T01:09:00.007+08:00

Seventeen years of age. N once told me that being 17 is the worst age you could ever be. In reply, I just scoffed and said she was being silly. Sad to say, it's true - at 17, you're not exactly legal but yet because you've passed "sweet fucking sixteen" so you feel old but then you aren't that old. You just don't know what you are. It's not OCD, it's not superstition. I just hate being at this age. Lately I've been in this state of mental exhaustion - I'm so tired. Tired of keeping up with everyone, tired of being made use of, tired of waiting for replies, tired of showing concern, tired of explaining myself, tired of staying strong. Yeh you get the point, just t i r e d. I really cannot wait for school to start, I want to bury myself in books for the next 10 years.

Minimalism

2011-03-10T01:58:00.001+08:00

Please be mine, I love you all.
I really really love you all.

2011-03-09T01:48:00.005+08:00

Pierre Herme's Macarons

I decided that today would be the day I conquered my fear of italian meringue and use it for macarons. What was I afraid of!! It was so easy I feel a bit silly for not having tried it earlier. I found a recipe on Foodbeam, a wonderful blog full of heavenly treats, whose writer did an internship at Pierre Herme in Paris and in fact this recipe comes from Herme’s book PH10. The complete recipe is for a rose macaron but I just used the base recipe for the cookie and used some strawberry jam as the filling. These were absolutely the best I have ever made and will now become my staple base recipe. Next time up I want to try my hand at Chocolate.

Basic Macaron Recipe

125g Icing Sugar
125g Ground Almonds
125g Caster Sugar
31g Water
47g Aged Egg Whites (that have been sat out for 48-72 hours)
43g Fresh Egg White
Food colouring

1. Put the Icing sugar and Almonds in the food processor and blitz for around a minute or so until you have a fine powder. Sieve this mixture twice.

2. Preheat your oven to 160c (I have a fan assisted oven so I set to 130c)

3. Put the caster sugar and water in a saucepan and over a medium heat bring to 120c

4. Just before the syrup gets to 120c (around 114) start the egg whites going in the mixer, set to high, and when the syrup gets to 120c pour it into the mixer, down the side of the bowl avoiding the whisk, and keep it going until the bowl is cool. The meringue should be thick and glossy.

5. In a seperate bowl mix the fresh egg white into the almond/sugar mix until you have a thick paste add the colouring to this. bear in mind that the meringue and the baking will make the final colour paler.

6. Mix a third of the egg whites into the second bowl just to lighten the mixture. You dont need to be gentle on this addition.

7. In two seperate additions fold the meringue in gently until your mixture just begins to shine and flows like magna (to be honest im never 100% sure if I have gone too far but if you do they will spread too far and if you mix too little they will be more like meringue than macaron)

8. Pipe the mixture into small rounds onto a lined baking sheet and then bake for around 9 mins (in my fan oven at the lower temp i bake for 12-13 mins)

9. When you take then from the oven leave them on the baking paper or silicon sheet until totally cool or they may stick to the sheet.

10. Sandwich with the filling of choice and if you can resist, refrigerate overnight to get better flavour

Just sayin'

2011-03-07T17:33:00.004+08:00

I don't need you to make felonious remarks. You, should keep your fucking tongue behind your teeth. Stop being a fuckin' twerp. I don't give two fucks about what you have to say about me but seriously, who the fuck are you to comment? (That's a rhetorical question by the way) Quit trying to act like you're so chummy with me because you disgust me. Really.

Shut up before I declare this as war, bitch.

Reconnaissance

2011-03-06T02:23:00.002+08:00

Persistent coughs - but I couldn't care much about it. My mind is in this certain incognito. It is concealed under pressure of a brittle skeleton. I don't know what to think. I don't want to think. I just want to sit at a cafe on a cool afternoon and read. I don't to look around. I just want to read. I just want to fix my eyes on parallel lines of words with precise spacing between each word. I'd rather know the world inside a story than to know who's sitting next to me on a Sunday afternoon. Fuck humanity, I am not losing faith but I just can't give a shit. Anymore.

A Moment's Pause

2011-03-04T01:45:00.002+08:00

Talk to me, would you?

All it takes is slight friction against an LED screen,

or chronological tapping of the keyboard to fix a sentence.

Where love is distant,

is where love persists on drawing closer.

It's really just..

mutual yearning

The ground above

2011-03-04T01:02:00.002+08:00

Yes.

I miss Bangkok, alot. Despite the raging 37°C, the mad traffic jams, the million attempts of cab drivers trying to sell us jewellery, the fuckin' long queue at immigration counters and my inability to converse in Thai. On the contrary, BKK is awesome. The mad shopping in Platinum mall, Chatuchak, Suan lum night market, centralworld and siam square - and I managed to lug my 43.5kg baggage back to Singapore. Not forgetting the tuktuk rides, pink cabs, cute thai cab drivers, trannies, green curries, tom yum goong, popsicle sticks, orange flavoured red bull slushies, mini sausages, seafood and my favourite, young coconut juices!!! Personally, I love thailand. I wouldn't mind staying in Bangkok if I could speak/read Thai.

O please bring me back to Bangkok.

Papa

2011-02-25T12:53:00.004+08:00

I see you putting up a tough front but I know inside - you're afraid. I am too. I'm afraid that you'd leave without bidding goodbye. I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to hear your incessant nags. I'm afraid that I'd miss you too much. You brought me up, taught me the ways of life, taught me how to walk on wobbly legs, showered me with unconditional love. You're the best father I could ever ask for. You're a simple man, you don't ask for riches or fancy things. Why must life be so unfair to you? I really wish I could take the pain away from you and put it on me, let me go through all these instead. I'd do/give anything for you to be well again.

I love you daddy.

Red Bean

2011-02-12T14:48:00.002+08:00

Lay in bed, breathe in the air - it's the 7th hour of a new day.

Curtains pulled apart, a fine view of Queens Street. An old lady pulls a cart piled up with cardboards, the market a street away becomes a bustling town of its own. School shoes and heavy backpacks - boy of the opposite block. He's probably Primary 3 but he manages well.

15th hour.

The sun spreads it's rays into the room. The cold marble floor turned a little warm. I smell lunch from my neighbour's kitchen. The refusal to conquer my laziness have gotten me a little hungrier. Activities in my web browser is at it's peak. Notifications, new tweets, questions on FS, reblogging Tumblr pictures, downloading new episodes. It'll almost be soon that I head out.

30th hour.

I go to bed.

-

2011-02-03T17:39:00.003+08:00

Disco Trash Music feat. Madeline Puckette - Everything Is Alright (Aerotronic Radio Edit) by Aerotronic

Plog

2011-01-27T04:55:00.005+08:00

It's 05:42am and..

I'd love to be in bed right now, probably something like this..

Oh, I just REALLY REALLY REALLY want this dress.

And I really need my hair to start looking like this

Alright I'm pretty lazy to sieve for more pictures now. By the way, do you get the title of my post? Plog = Picture blog (hehe) I should blog in this way more often, it saves the typing. Life's been comfortable lately - I like it just the way it is. I've just packed my room and it's mega spacious now. Threw 3 garbage bags filled with 4 years worth of books/notes. Yep. Ok. Ahem. Yawn. Yeh, I'm tired already.

Here's another picture before I sleep.

(I love Effy)

Just sayin'

Big project

2011-01-21T03:02:00.004+08:00

I need to revamp my room.

To-buy: Storage boxes (3 huge, 5 small), more storage boxes for miscellaneous stuff, new desk, a huge white cupboard, white curtains, a blade-less fan, a black computer chair, I JUST REALLY NEED A FUCKING HUGE CUPBOARD.

To-do: Paint my walls, pack my things, throw out all my junk, change my bedsheets, change furniture arrangements, THROW THROW THROW E V E R Y T H I N G.

To-date: I am very tired now and my room is fucking messy. I'm fucking angry because it's total chaos here. Okay I'm just moody and I need to sleep. I haven't had proper rest for a week now, since my life have been spent on the streets lately. Alright, gdnight.

-

2011-01-21T00:22:00.002+08:00

This is a plaster sculpture, observe closely.

2011-01-18T00:28:00.003+08:00

Awesome day I had with Delphine the other day. After 2 years of being apart and doing our own things, we finally met. It felt good - being able to still have deep conversations and "debate" over our different views on life, love and some "political" issues haha. Oh, we went to ARTSTAGE at Marina Bay Sands. Fucking good artworks by both the local and foreign talents.

I really loved this piece...

Korehiko Hino, "Flower Wall" (2009)

Oil on canvas, 181.8 x 227.3 cm

X

2011-01-18T00:04:00.002+08:00

Click HERE to purchase, brand new and everything at $6

26

2011-01-13T18:57:00.003+08:00

Because we always have to live by standards and expectations, it's only sane that we keep to that. A friend once said that it was a tiring routine to have to fight our way up but only to be relegated back to the start. Even if it means that this battle is of irrelevance to our goal. The world is just messed up this way. And I am too because while searching for myself, I lost my way.

Inertia

2011-01-08T23:18:00.002+08:00

Tonight I am really upset. I don't know what's going through my mind. It's incomprehensible. There's too much to think about.

Life: I feel myself ebbing away from reality and I'm slowly sinking into my own little world where only I understand myself and when I am totally nonchalant about things. Hopes are meant for the hopeful. I am not hopeful - of anything. But that does not mean I do not have hopes or ambitions. It's just that I am just not hopeful of.. having anyone to understand me because I am just too complex for fuck's sake.

Love: If everyone made a little more effort, if everyone made a little more time, if everyone showed a little bit more loving.... IF

To be continued..

KL

2011-01-05T22:21:00.002+08:00

I am really lazy to post up the pictures taken from KL so here's just one from the view of the hotel room. Life's been, interesting. I feel comfortable in my zone and I don't want to change that. Oh, the results are coming out on the 10th. I think might just pass away in the hall, W.E.F. Ah whatever, I can't wait to go BKK and HK hua hua

Gra(pea)de

2010-12-29T00:19:00.002+08:00

It's 01:06 AM currently. As insane as it seems, I'm eating my dinner now. So I don't plan much to sleep before departure time. I'd miss everyone, gaaAaaAAah. Alright so I'm done packing my suitcase. I think I haven't brought enough but who cares, I'm not going to lug useless things there. Oh I've brought along a book just in case the trip gets a little too boring. Hua hua. I'll be back with lots of goodies and hopefully pictures if I'm not too busy buying imitation goods in KL, or busy defrosting my ass in Genting.

Good morning singapore.

It's 03:40 AM now

Polygons x Hexagons

2010-12-27T11:01:00.002+08:00

Sup everyone, I've been busy working and catching up with loved ones. In the coming 2011, it's going to be a rough year. Mega worries about my O's results, the school I would enrol in, the course I want to take and everything else. On the brighter side of things, I am going on a small getaway to somewhere not too far from Singapore. Which is good because I don't want to bother about the mess I've recently created in my life. Sadly, I won't be spending the last day of 2010 in Sgp. But I would be back on the 2nd Jan sooooo take care until I'm back!

P O T L U C K

2010-12-24T02:06:00.003+08:00

Spent a great 23rd December at Mel's place, with awesome food and company. I had a great time with Melissa, Chantal, Edrea, Pris, Andrea, Lisa, Tricia and Vanessa! I can't wait for the Marina Bay Sands hotel party in Jan 2011.
Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
x

FFFFFredflare

2010-12-23T05:14:00.008+08:00

Krispy Kreme Cooking Kit x Bacon Soap

Mac & Cheese Jigsaws x OCD Hand Sanitizer

Hamburger wallet x Juno's cheeseburger wallet

Waffle Flavoured Floss x Black birds paperclips

So.. now everyone knows what I want for Christmas? Haha I really want the OCD hand sanitizer and the Hamburger wallet. Some awesome stuff at FF.com, really! And free shipping for this festive season. I am going mad, I need a credit card. Pictures and updates on Mel's warm Christmas dinner tomorrow. It's 05:36 am, good morning everyone.

/EDIT

By the way, did anyone realize all the items I want actually have something to do with food?! Gosh, pig I am.

Rain

2010-12-14T21:20:00.002+08:00

A pen on a paper, fingertips on keyboards, right leg resting on the edge of the chair. I've been wearing a mismatched pair of socks ha ha. It's been raining and I've been listening to too much acoustic music that I think I'm turning quite light-headed. Every night should be like this, when I'm safe in my little room. So yes, I dropped by the supermarket on the way home. I went to the baking section and I got really inspired to make cookies for everyone this Christmas and write them small gift cards and personally deliver them.

Today, a French woman came into the shop. She was trying hard to communicate with me in French and I found it rather amusing because I couldn't understand anything except for her occasional "Oui" and the "Merci" at the end. On the side note, should I cut my hair short? Then dye it red again.

2010-12-14T21:05:00.002+08:00

I'd like to use the excuse

of asking you,

if you've a clue.

About how I feel,

or what is really true.

Because without a doubt,

you stand out of the crowd.

Ninth

2010-12-10T03:57:00.005+08:00

Go to ImageShack® to Create your own Slideshow

Summary: Chinatown, treasures trove in People's Park, Vanessa's first KOI, cheap hair accessories, transformers bubble, eating fest, mango sago deserts, pasar malam, hilltop gym, awesome hot bodies, clarke quay, meidi-ya, red bean pancake, night sky and the $1.50 ice cream man with bad-ass attitude.

In doldrums

2010-12-06T11:33:00.002+08:00

Woke up at 10 this morning, I wasn't sure if it was the posture of my sleeping position or the pangs of hunger calling from inside my stomach. Today, my heart feels a little heavier and I'm breathing slow. There's something in my gut but I can't differentiate between anxiety or melancholy. It's a mixture but they seem to not fuse together. It's two separate feelings but towards a different degree, almost like how oil settles on water because it's less dense. God, please show me a sign.

Bye.

2010-12-03T14:28:00.002+08:00

My bank balance stands at pits bottom currently. I was supposed to get paid 48 hours ago but the $xxx isn't there yet. What if I wrote the wrong bank account number to transfer to or if someone bank-robbed me? I can't handle this suspense that my boss is giving me. Please transfer me my pay so I can stop fretting over this because I sound retarded.

Need to buy: new pair of shoes, Murakami's "The Elephant Vanishes", Topshop hoodie, chamomile tea for my uncle, re-dye my hair at a salon and I'll keep the rest in my bank.

It's 02.37pm.

Crumble

2010-11-29T02:50:00.002+08:00

It's 3 in the morning - I'm wide awake. Work starts at 5 tomorrow so I couldn't care about sleeping. The night is too busy with downloading tv shows and watching them. I'm awkward as it is and I don't know what to say anymore.

-----

Where'd you find the warmth you need, if the cold is all you have?

Tell me that you've found love but wake up - you haven't.

-

2010-11-28T01:09:00.003+08:00

The sound of friction between skin and plastic chair. This has became less of a stranger to me. I see water vapour condensing on the surface of my blue bottle. Fluorescent lights flicker along the corridor as followed by the loud tapping of heels of my neighbour's heavy steps. She wears No. 5 by Chanel - I could always smell her as she leaves for work in the morning. I wonder if anyone could notice the Chloe that I'm using. In the train to work, it's the smell of mixed emotions and cologne. Oh, bad breath too. At work, the smell of boiling water from the clothing steamer. Suntec doesn't smell like Ion. Maybe because of the eau de toilette dispenser in Ion. But, whatever.

Home. It smells like the green tea shampoo I use to lather my hair with, the lavender bed linen spray, the Victoria's Secret body mist and the fresh laundry of Saturday afternoon. There's no other place I'd want to be right now but here.

Goodnight and sweet dreams.

Magnolia

2010-11-22T22:13:00.002+08:00

I have to admit that I'm totally drained out by work but I've to give in to my midnight cravings of eating Tom Yum and munching on seaweed. (I know, just think of all the calories gained) So glad I found a job in a retail outlet. It's not exactly what I was looking for but who cares? The pay is good, flexible working hours, no uniforms, (rather bad) pop music. Alright, I'm going to go bathe and then watch the shows I've downloaded last night.

Good night and good day.

Sex & The City

2010-11-19T15:36:00.002+08:00

Summary: Still jobless, i miss everyone, everyone's working, growing fat, growing lazy, haven't exercised, feeling horrible, need money, need to shop, need friends gathering, need to get a job. I'm so boring that I don't know what to write anymore. Oh, besides that I've watched Sex & The City + SALT + Inception last night. Great movie marathon. Alright my stiff fingers are getting a little twisted.

Bake session

2010-11-17T00:27:00.002+08:00

I had a great time baking at Melissa's today! So we had our mini tea party session and watched Sex & The City 2. Then it rained so heavily that the plans for night picnic with Nat and co was cancelled so we opted for a late night movie. Paranormal Activity 2 - wouldn't say it sucked but it was rather thrilling. Today was w00000nderful x.

3

2010-11-15T23:34:00.002+08:00

Summary: Had a great (last) week! It's Monday but I started it out perfectly. Went for my interview today, I really hope I get the job. Then to Sentosa, I didn't get burnt but my skin's still warm from the sun. Tomorrow's Melissa's tea party, going to bake and sip on earl grey tea. Think, high tea session on carpet grass and small gathering of awesome friends. My shoulders ache. And my eyelids are so heavy! Alright, I'm going to bed now. (I realized it's been long since I've written a descriptive post)

Keep Calm and Flea With FLB IV

2010-11-15T23:08:00.001+08:00

Sales were good, sold most of the things I brought to the flea. The place was packed as hell but overall, super awesome! If anyone of you remember, my stall was the one with the Froot Loop box! See you next time at Flashlightbatteries flea 5 - with my cereal box heh heh

---

13

2010-11-11T01:21:00.003+08:00

The burden's off. I should be feeling glad but I'm not. Truth is, I'm scared. I fear change. I fear meeting with new people. It's not that I can't socialise - it's more of the reason that you never when someone's hiding a knife under a smile. I like being around people whom I'm comfortable with, I like staying in bed not worrying about looking my best for anyone, I like to read and listen to my new acoustic playlist all day. Oh well, I've to get myself a job this holiday to kill off all the excess time. And, yes I've bought dye for my hair. I really hope it turns out good (think deep red hair on fair skin)

Schedule/plans : job interview, sentosa, FLB flea, mel's tea party, dye hair, pastel green nail polish, get a Preview 5 shirt, dr martens, florida ice birkenstock, lose 5 kg.

2010-11-11T01:20:00.000+08:00

2010-11-08T22:19:00.004+08:00

I'm weak. I'm alone. I'm caught in a cold space. A space where I'm only fall back into emptiness. Emptiness is a place where patterns don't form. Really, everyone needs another somebody. Comfort that a friend can't offer. I want warm fuzzy hugs when she sees a frown, a shoulder for me to rely on, laughs at dumb things with me and tell me how she really loves me. But when reality sets in, it's a kick in the face. I just have to wake up from my wishful thinking because I'd like to believe that I don't deserve a good share of romance. I don't.

Relegate

2010-11-05T22:50:00.003+08:00

It's November. I've been keeping a small diary, I named it "Empty" but it's name really doesn't do much justice (Since I've been penning down a lot of my thoughts) Also, I've been thinking. What really makes you real as a person? Well, food for thought.

The way I see it - being real isn't about being a UK 6. It isn't about the number of friends you have on Facebook. It isn't about flawless skin nor it is about having a Chanel bag. It isn't about having dozens of suitors or being "scene" or being gay/lesbian just to fit in or slapping on piles of makeup and etc.

A real person is someone who remains confident even when society doesn't not accept her.

October

2010-10-19T18:56:00.002+08:00

Summary: Great birthday, thx van/mk/suzie/kimberly/carolyn/yeeki/natasha/rachael, o levels next week, made plans for the next few months, applied for jobs, recently started saving for my MacBook, been listening to latin music, nervous for exams, not prepared, stomachache, gold toes, aromatic candles, snapping calculators, lots of worksheets, dried ink, starbucks, late night mugging, pre-examination scares, complexion deterioriating, getting fatter, need to lose weight, planning for Bangkok trip.

Secondary school

2010-10-08T18:26:00.005+08:00

Graduation day was great. I'd never have thought that the school would be nice enough to have popcorn machines, candy floss machines and a caterer for a buffet spread. I had massive fun taking loads of pictures with teachers and everyone else. And this may be my lengthiest blog post in ages. So read on if you're not intimidated by the length haha.

This was school for me.

When 3/4 of the class was called to the Principal's office, we imitated the teachers, we had to climb the neverending flight of stairs, there were bland peach tea in the tuckshop, we did the stupidest things that got us into trouble, Mrs R switches on the freezing aircon in the Learning Lab, the badminton days, we had heated arguments with teachers, we wrote nonsense on the whiteboards, we girls could change in class and even discussing about cup sizes of bras, we stuffed our pockets to bring food back to class without getting caught, we stayed in school until midnight just for Art, we fought with each other over trivial matters, we had gossiping sessions at the back of the class, we played "Would you rather" and laugh at dumb questions, we were bored out of our minds during lessons, we charged our gadgets at the back of the class (Blackberry, camera batteries, iPhones, etc), we could pull our shirts up to air after PE lessons, we threw our books in the cupboard when Mr K asked us to clear our desks, having karaoke sessions during breaks, packing our bags in unison 5 minutes before the bell rang, we hid in the cupboard just to watch iPod videos, we shared sleeping bags during the camps, we complained about how bloated we were when our menstruation came in the most explicit manner, we could fart and burp whenever because no one cared, we could poke fun at each other like no tomorrow, we spent hours in toilet doing our hair and "slacking" on the bench talking about everything under the sun, we spoke with full force confidence when confronting teachers, we created havoc to prove our stand as a class and the list goes on.

After 10 years of education in an all girls' school, I've spent 3/4 of my life with most of them. I've grown so attached to most of them that it'll probably feel awkward to not have them in my class anymore. To all my amazing 4/1 girls, I love all of you from the bottom of my stomach (You all know how deep deep my tummy is) and heart.

Obvious oblivion

2010-10-03T12:33:00.002+08:00

Pen in my hand,
I watch the digital go to ten.
The ink roll across pages,
an ache in my left hand lingers.
I'm just sixteen,
and time is passing too fast,
for me.

Carte Blanche

2010-10-01T23:21:00.003+08:00

It sucks to fail, it sucks to feel hopeless about life, it sucks to be at pits bottom, it sucks to know that your life isn't taking flight, it sucks to feel like you're about to lose hope in everything but you know you can't. This is a mid-life crisis and it really sucks to be human. But you know what sucks the most? It's knowing that you've full discretionary power of the situation but time's your enemy. It's knowing that your expectations don't align with reality. It's knowing that you've been knocking on empty doors all these while and Jesus don't speak to you anymore. And it's also knowing that you've a one way ticket to a downwards spiral.

+/-

2010-09-07T23:04:00.002+08:00

This year could be the most chaotic year for me, so far. Having missed 2 exams last Friday, I'm feeling a tad bit worried for what is going to happen when my parents are going overseas next Monday. I'm a heavy sleeper. I've been waking up to the afternoon sun since the weekends came. Honestly, the possibility of me dying in my sleep is infinite. It's 11:24 PM now.

A Tuesday evening.

A sphinx

2010-08-01T21:39:00.006+08:00

I'm not about to be cryptical but I have always succumbed to my own thoughts. Almost too many times, I have denied access to anyone who tried to decipher my thoughts. I had a disparity to those who were able to understand me and those who tried to. However, it doesn't really matter anymore, does it? Those who've tried have given up and those who've given up have died. Metaphorically, ofcourse.

Pop

2010-07-31T17:35:00.002+08:00

Obviously, the sight of me doesn't please you. You're a crusty irascible cantakerous old person full of stubborn ideas and yourself. Since you've been incessantly annoyed by the things I do, it's best we keep a distance. Especially when it doesn't help for me to explain myself nor does it help for me to apologise (because I'm not planning to anyway). I guess you steer clear away from me and I do the same. Perhaps to you, I'm just another teen that reckons she is immaculated but I beg to differ because I actually do care. Unlike you - you care about me in all the wrong way.

2010-07-31T17:22:00.001+08:00

Hey dad, look! Your life motto.

On / Off

2010-07-31T00:36:00.002+08:00

12:37 AM - currently. I've left school an hour and a half ago. It feels so good to be home in my favourite oversized shirt. It also feels just as good to have a nice cold bath in the middle of the night. Really tired but I have to blame them on the coffee bonbons and 7 hours of painting. I just can't shut my eyes. So yeh, I've called off everything for tomorrow. I'm honestly too drained out to push myself any further. Ok, I just made a fascinating discovery and I'm going to sleep now.

Damn, it's 32.

Almost doubled up.

X

2010-07-22T17:19:00.003+08:00

Here's the deal. I'm really deprived of sleep because of the staying up till 3 in the morning and getting up 2 hours later to get to school. But this has to go on for the next 3 months until I'm done with this shit. There's a-thousand-and-one things I need to do with my life. (A guitar sponsored by my mom, BKK, California, Los Angeles, Hongkong, BKK again and again and again, a job, endless supply of free time.) Sexciting. Alright bye.

Carboxylic

2010-07-18T22:00:00.002+08:00

It's Sunday. I sprawled in bed the whole morning with a book - the perks of being a wallflower. I stopped at the 3rd chapter. Then I watched the last 40 minutes of Factory Girl. I hate mornings. I'd never understand why a morning is ever good. An oxymoron maybe. At 07:00am odd, the star that is visible in the day never fails on you. Get to work, get to school, get yourself out of the bed. At 06:00pm odd, the darkness and pinholes of light cast upon the city. If only it'd be night 24/7, we'll never need sunscreens again.

Deprived of sleep

2010-07-10T22:20:00.002+08:00

Lately - I think I've lost my senses. I've been too tired to speak properly, compose a good composition, open up my textbooks and much less getting to school on time. Yes, I know.

I spend my early mornings standing at the corner of the unstable vehicle with loud (but good) music blasting in my ears. Then I spend my not-so-early-mornings dazing in class, hoping the teacher does something more interesting than just slideshows and whiteboards. The afternoons are spent with extended classes, toilet breaks and Art. Holding a paintbrush in my left hand and a plastic plate on my right. A time check : it's 0634 PM.

Time to head home.

今天

2010-07-02T21:04:00.006+08:00

I wasn't in the right mind when I thought it was okay for me to wear my baggy uniform with my spectacles while lugging a heavy backpack. The rain was so heavy, the air was cold and I should've spent every waking moment - sleeping. The past few nights, my galaxy lamp has been a good company. The weather too, was being cooperative. Life has not been very peaceful and I dread hearing the ringing sound in my ears.

PS : If you're asking me what's wrong - you are.

And it's not you as in you're at fault kind of wrong.

I just think that you need to relax sometimes.

Frozen glass

2010-06-26T21:37:00.003+08:00

I woke up. 0943 AM to be exact. The ornaments hung on my window clinked with the grille, my feets were exposed to cold air but I didn't mind. I imagined myself to be in another place. Probably in a cold country of temperatures of a -10, I'd be decked out in winter wear and sipping on hot chocolate. I don't like waking up on a Saturday morning, I'd arise in the late afternoons. But I can't, the previous day has been too short for me to deserve a long rest, despite sleeping at 0300 AM. And this may be the most random post ever but I just felt like typing.

Without interruption

2010-06-26T21:02:00.002+08:00

There comes a time when I'm fully aware of my current situation but I'm just not doing anything about it. Now that I'm 4 months away from the actual shit, it's a real pity that I'm doing absolutely nothing. I think, that things need to settle down. I need to settle down. Too much distractions about everything else. Well I wouldn't say I'm stressed when I'm possibly the most relaxed 16 year old in Singapore. Wake up calls doesn't ring through me, motivational talks are just too overrated and I'm feeling blank. I need to change this lifestyle of mine, a total waste of time. I know it's time for me to start pushing myself and stop worrying about what to do and just do it. With this, I'll leave this 4 months out of my calendar to solve my plethora of problems.

FALL / FELL

2010-06-22T21:58:00.002+08:00

It's been all school and art the entire week. Fuck school. Am glad that my final design is up, pretty stoked to get everything painted and do up a couple more drawings, stick 'em all up on the mounting boards and I'm done with Art. To reward myself for bringing my ass so conscientiously back to school for the past 3 weeks, I'm going to sleep. I'm going to sleep for the next 15+ hours. I'm going to sleep the shit out of my bed. But first I must change my bedsheets to acheive maximum results and comfort.

2010-06-18T23:15:00.005+08:00

Don't fucking tell me it's different when you know it's just the same.

Stop pushing me to her,

I am not stupid and I know everything.

(And how you feel about me)

Ω

2010-06-17T21:14:00.005+08:00

It's been long since I've written an entry. Especially when the holiday is a bore because there's a major exam in October - which is in 4 months. Lots of preparation needed. Urg. I hate talking about how school life is boring but that is just it. And I think I've been watching too much Gossip Girl at night under my blanket. I've been waking up to earplugs in my ears, wires tangled in my hair and my drained out iPod.

I think today's been quite an enjoyable week.

Monday: English oral, food marathon in orchard, numb legs, durian pancakes, beef noodles and tom yam.

Tuesday / Wednesday : Art

Thursday: Back to lakeside, queenstown's $1.50 nasi lemak, wifi marathon, tecktonik videos, cooked spaghetti, gym+swim, solo wavehouse.

x x x

2010-06-08T21:56:00.005+08:00

My mind's too tired.

Too sick of everything. Too tired of the shit in school, the shit at home, the voice outside of my room, the dragging of furniture from upstairs, the music in my ipod, the tapping of my keyboard, the whirring of the fan, the people on the streets, the smell that reminds me of you, the empty screen of my phone, the hair in my face, the food in school, the bus I take everyday, the clothes I wear, the shoes I have, the bed I crash into every night. I'm paper that meets the pen. When the pen runs dry or it's left with nothing to write, that too, will be when I'll be of no use.

Dialogue

2010-05-31T21:35:00.004+08:00

My shoes are dirty. There's black particles on the white surface and not even my shoe paint will cover that up. I took a detour today despite the slight drizzle at 0600pm. They fall from high above the blues but it seemed too artificial - just like everything else.

Currently, 0947pm.

Yet again, the same song is still replayed on my itunes. My room smells of Topshop body mist, it's weird, but I use it as an air freshener now. My phone cover is such a pretty sight. It shines up like those galaxy lamps when placed under dim lights. Ok damn, there's school tomorrow.

Updated: XXXXX

I brainstorm about money

2010-05-28T20:38:00.004+08:00

And yes, I finally got my Cheap Monday jeans. My shorts have arrived in my mailbox, so did the $50 in my bank. I've been spending too impulsively nowadays and my bank is showing me a "this is not good" sign. Best buy so far: the pair of jeans and pink galaxy wallet. I've got another $30 coming in this Monday but I'll use that in addition with my weekly allowance to pay for my CMJ. Then again, I really want to get that pair of pink washed jeans from Topshop. But that's $66. And my summer blues are $119. And the pair of silver abby is $89. I'm going to pay off all these debt before I start shopping again, promise.

But just in case you people who are reading happen to have one of these items below - do drop me a mail!

(fauxtaperz@hotmail.com)

Galaxy bandage skirt
Paperbag chinos (In sand brown only)
Red leather briefcase bag
Ohsofickle's colourblock dress
Topshop Aztec bandage dress
Beyondblackdreams 2 way dress (In glitter black only)

FFFF

2010-05-23T01:25:00.004+08:00

Today was good. am lazy to go into details. Went for Fleaflyflofun with V, retail therapy, bought YSL shirt (at unbelievable price I tell you), autistic child, unexpected news, exhausted, still awake at 0127 am, yellow ikea chair, private tumblr, read book, aloe vera juice, chemistry tuition tomorrow.

2010-05-17T18:34:00.001+08:00

BRB IN 6 MONTHS

There's something in the water

2010-05-15T22:47:00.002+08:00

Summary of the day : Ann siang, Booksactually, her sword/child bottle, pinkdot 2010 / holland / instax / bus / muscle ache / microwaveable popcorn / bed.

Habits that I have : I don't eat the first and last mint in a box of mint, I don't like odd numbers, my television volume always have to 32, I have a habit of aligning my things in a certain order and I do have a weird character.

Here's to you :

2010-05-14T22:07:00.003+08:00

I wish you'd both dissapear. You make my life so difficult all the time. Since it's so tough on you (and on me) why don't we just be non-existant to each other. Would that appease you? Fuck, would you stop complaining? It's not like you can choose your kid and unfortunately - neither can I choose who my parents are. So we're all stuck in this dumb conversational rut, so yes, if only you'd just shut the fuck up. love you still, not.

Since you said you don't, you dumb bitch.

-

2010-05-14T21:54:00.002+08:00

Exams are finally over. School's been a repetitive cycle, a bore in fact. And I'm just tired most of time. I feel that sleep is not enough to suffice my dumb school's schedule. From tuesday onwards, school's extending to 0500 PM for Mother (fucking) tongue intensive until 31 May. I can't even speak in chinese properly and you're expecting me to brush it all up in 2 weeks, geez spare me.

Quick summary

2010-05-11T21:47:00.003+08:00

Today : Holland, browhaus, frolick, chicken, DMC, giant jawbreaker, cold bus, pitter patter, calm.

Tomorrow : No school, collect cheque (?), meetups, isolate self, arttttttttt, calm.

Thursday : It's the 13th againnnnnn yay.

Friday : Chinese intensive, gym/swim, meetups, calm.

Saturday : Tuition, pinkdot (?)

The best feeling

2010-05-09T19:26:00.002+08:00

Walk in the rain barefooted on pavements with raindrops falling in between my toes, winning $50 for being the 9th caller on radio, baking cookies and cupcakes, reading a book on a cold morning, passing a test that I didn't study for, downing one litre of root beer in 5 minutes flat, peeling dry paint off my skin, waking up right next to the person I love, an undisturbed night after a long day in school, birds chirping to greet me a good morning and having you.